There's a Light at the End of This Tunnel

I consider myself a strong, patient woman. I am a woman of faith. I believe that God is with me at all times and know that He wants more for me, than I could ever dream of on my own. I also believe, that everything happens for a reason. Some reasons are clear, some become clear over time and others are left for us to wonder about our whole lives.

In spite of my faith, after almost two years of waiting, our adoption of Hope became unbearable. It was one the darkest times of my life... ever.

I never blamed God, the struggle actually brought me closer to Him. After a full nine years of wanting another child, I began praying for Him to remove that desire altogether. To end, not only my suffering, but the intense guilt of not being happy with the amazing blessings I already had. I began to doubt myself. I locked myself in my room one night and finally gave in to the pain. I sobbed. I threw things. I broke things. I finally allowed myself to become angry. Angry at my broken body, the doctors for giving me false hope, for the state of adoption in general, for being too patient and allowing 9 years to pass...

God never removed that desire, because He put it there to begin with. I came through that incredibly low time, fueled with anger. With a new found strength I took control and fought for what I knew to be right. Through that fight, God brought us our beautiful Kate and because of her and His grace, my broken heart began to heal.

Now, a year has passed and it is easy. Easy to see Hope at the end of the tunnel. She is so very bright and I am finally in a place where I can accept God's incredible timing, because I have already climbed the first mountain. I have the wisdom of hind-sight. I am thankful to be in this place and can't wait to finish the rest of the journey... when it's time.

So this I say, to anyone who is feeling broken or lost - no matter where you are on your journey - Hang on. Pray. Do what you can, to fight for what you know in your heart is right, then have faith in God to take care of the rest... I know... I have lived it...

Two of my favorites from Third Day - Both have incredible messages for those struggling with their journey.

Tunnel


Mountain Of God

Getting Ready!

For the next two weeks... I will be immersed in party planning! Yet another dream come true! The bliss of balloons, crepe paper, birthday cake and a special little dress! I am happily drowning in pink!

Happy Easter!

A very blessed and happy Easter to everyone!

A year ago, we colored eggs and made up baskets for Kate and Hope, still not knowing if either one of them would become part of our family.

Very soon after, God brought us our sweet Kate. This Easter is full of joy, bonnets and bunnies.

We are confident that next Easter we will have two little girls to be thankful for and one big brother to spoil them.

God is good. In Him we find joy.

Couch?

Picture of the day...



I can't believe our silly girl is already eleven months old! So much going on and I'm too busy to post! My friend, Lisa got her referral of her beautiful daughter!! We took a fun family trip to Frankenmuth, Chris' baseball season is starting, and Kate's first Easter is less than a week away!

Lisa's referral really got me 'Hoping'!!! We are getting closer!!! In 3-5 months we WILL see Hope's face! I know Chris is waiting for another Mei Mei but is Kate waiting for Mei Mei or Jie Jie??? Only time will tell! Getting excited!